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November 24, 2010
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I.

I struggle because God told me that he doesn't like slackers,
and it is almost winter, and I have to believe in something.
His desk is so tall, I like to sit under it and stare up at where
the edge of the desk meets the ceiling and his hand tapping.
I don't like the cold, but God says that it builds character,
so I trek through it to get to something I once loved and it only
leaves me feeling small.

II.

I was never a child, I told the interviewer when he climbed on
top of me. I was never born, I just appeared.
He wasn't listening anymore, but I kept telling him.
God sank into my skin when I was sleeping one night,
in a church somewhere east of here, and
He speaks to me now.
"God doesn't exist," huffed the Interviewer Man.

III.

There was this man who said that if you spoke to God,
then you were praying. Lots of people pray in snow
And silence, but if they're silent then how does he hear them?
This man also said that if God spoke to you,
then you have schizophrenia.
I don't know what that is.
I asked God and he said that Angels get their names from
God's enemies so he can learn to love them again.
I thought that was lovely, but it didn't answer my question.

IV.

The snow is finally melting, and I can go outside again.
I saw a man standing outside my door who looked like
a younger version of Abraham, so I trusted him.
"Is your mom in?" He asked.
Jesus and I are the same height, and we argue over
the same chair at dinner. We take turns.
What's a mom, I ask the man, and I close the door on him
because God told me that sanity is a made up word,
and so is "mom."

V.

By Spring everything will be different, God said.
The hush of midday sank in my lungs and I gulped,
suddenly aware of the time that had passed.
He told me that science is the opposite of the ocean
and the sky is not the only thing that lasts forever.
Time swings on a tire swing in my front yard,
and I run to join it, but God tells me that it's Spring.
The van's coming, the Abraham man is back,
I keep listening, even after he drags me away.
God goes quiet for the first time in years.
I now know what silence is as I lie restrained to a
hospital bed.
It's white.
Like Heaven.

VI.

Today, they are letting me leave.
I think God will forgive me for not listening to him anymore.
I think he understands.
So, this is something new I've never done. I've seen it around but yeah. It's more like a story poem thing. I don't know, I just liked it.
I'm not religious. My poem is about a person's relationship with God, but it is a story, not a reflection of myself.
Thanks :)
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:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
intimate, poignant, and very profound. the language was simple but elegant. very beautiful.
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:iconallofmyconfusion:
allofmyconfusion Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013   Writer
Thank you for your support and feedback :)
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:iconlonealphawolf:
lonealphawolf Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011
I'm impressed yet again. And it's a feat to write this if you never experienced it. A relationship with God is very very close and I think you kind of nailed it!
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:iconallofmyconfusion:
allofmyconfusion Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011   Writer
thank you so much! i really appreciate it :) :)
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:iconlonealphawolf:
lonealphawolf Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011
You're very welcome!
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:icondolorem-ipsum:
dolorem-ipsum Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011   Writer
This is lovely. I'm not sure what to say about it beyond that, but I like it. It feels very intimate. Like the narrator really understands God on a personal level.
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:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2011   Writer
I know you meant literally (in your comments) that this wasn't about you, but I can't imagine how a piece as intimate and thoughtful as this doesn't come from within a certain figurative truth. Marvelous piece.
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:iconallofmyconfusion:
allofmyconfusion Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2011   Writer
:) yeah, I agree. every poem I write has its relevance and ties back to my thoughts and emotions, but I just didn't want anyone to get offended by the story and interpret it as an attack on religion.
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:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2011   Writer
sure, i understand. but if it comes from within, then at some point an artist has to be prepared to offend sensibilities, mores, and paradigms. again, i really liked it.
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:iconriseandbe:
RiseandBe Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, really just breath-taking. I don't even know what to say. Instant favorite and something I will read again and again.
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