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November 11, 2012
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I.

I had a dream
that sprung legs and ran ahead into the closet in front of my bed;
the door swung shut behind it, and I fell asleep with my eyes wide
watching bright fantasies that were not mine to see.

The sun flushed into my room and swallowed me up in its light
sometime between me playing with my eyelashes and mumbling
to the walls. I leaped toward the closet door and tugged it open.
It was empty.

II.

I had a dream that my closet was calling to me like a giant
with curious white eyes; I woke up asleep on its floor
with my blanket tucked into my arms. I stayed in there
all day and refused to leave even when the father
called for me. I wanted to hear her heart beat.

III.

I had an idea,
but it only came weeks later when I sat down to dinner.
The parents avoided eye contact; I was the child who slept
on the closet floor, the one with the silly mind.

The idea was simple. I lied in bed as still as the moonlight,
my mind hummed like the creatures swarming beneath me.
When the lights were out, I was on my own and I preferred it
this way. The large wooden desk, some stuffed animals
and a lamp leaned against the closet door. I fell asleep
watching his big white eyes gloss over.

IV.

The dream was there in the little palm of my hand
like a piece of fire or a start of a fight at school
or a ferocious beast. I saw it pushing through my chest
in the early hours of morning, and I caught it
in mid leap. I ran to the bathroom and locked
the door, falling to my knees on the tile.
I inched open my hands and saw it for what
it is at 4 am at age seven. Maybe too childish to know
something like this, but I managed it any ways
in my young arms. They were heavy with the weight
of such a secret but I pushed it back into my chest
and understood what was going on
inside of me,
why it lived there,
and why it was mine to keep.
Full Title: The Closet, A metaphor.

This one is about being "closeted" in a literal sense. The dream being just being attracted to someone of the same sex, and it naturally wanting to hide. And this little kid coming to terms with it, and making it a part of his/her self.
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:iconbuffyvampireslayer39:
buffyvampireslayer39 Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is simply amazing. It's deep and definately well written. Also very real.
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:iconallofmyconfusion:
allofmyconfusion Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013   Writer
thank you! I'm glad you liked it :)
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:icondragonschest:
DragonsChest Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Professional Writer
Interesting for sure...
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:iconamweitz:
AMWeitz Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Writer
Oh my LORD. I haven't been able to find anything HALF as good as this online in a WHILE. I've been relying on my AP Lit textbook to supply me with quality poetry. But this, this is friggin brilliant! Hahaha. The way that this is worded and expressed, so that it convincingly conveys the candor and vivid imaginings children experience...it's perfection. For instance, ordinarily, seeing giant white eyes watch you in the dark would be extraordinarily creepy, but children delight in those sorts of things! They don't know they're "supposed" to be afraid.

I also really appreciated that you partitioned this piece into digestible, varying (yet related) sections. Lovely.

The only thing I would comment on is at the very end: "Maybe too childish to know / something like this, but I managed it any ways / in my young arms. They were heavy with the weight / of such a secret but I pushed it back into my chest / and understood what was going on / inside of me, / why it lived there, / and why it was mine to keep."
I personally think that you convey the childish mind of the narrator through imagery and idea in the rest of the poem, which I believe is more powerful, but it feels like you're pushing it with diction and awkward phrasing here, particularly in "Maybe too childish to know" (instead of "Maybe I was too childish to know") and "but I managed it any ways into my young arms" (which is a little bit awkward in general, and perhaps you could leave out the detail that the arms are young, since we know the narrator is young already).

Wonderful job! I love this!! :heart:
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:iconallofmyconfusion:
allofmyconfusion Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012   Writer
thanks for the advice! I really appreciate it. Yeah I was struggling with the end, because I want to make my point without getting out of character. Yeah I might revise all that :P Thanks for the praise!!! This is awesome :)
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:iconamweitz:
AMWeitz Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Writer
No problem! My pleasure :)
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